Ok, so I was never a Harper’s girl, basically cuz I never seemed to find them in Egypt and also believing the fact that when you’ve bought your fresh, one-month-ahead-vogue for the month, you’re set for the month. I arrived to London, and, well u know, you’re bombarded with publications literally everywhere. Well I saw it, they had the perfect titles; spring chicest hits and the stylists’ secret go-to labels and some girl on the cover, I flicked through it and found pretty amazing articles and fashion pieces. Didn’t have to think twice, I bought it.
I sat in the tube staring at the cover, God, who is that girl? Yes, yes, its Georgia May Jagger. Thank you cover title. Weird cover choice!
Ok next stop, editors note. Thank you God for not making me throw up in that tube. I seriously felt nauseated.
“ I first met Georgia May Jagger in Mustique when she was nine years old and I was just one year into my editorship of Bazar. Little did I realize then, that some 10 years later, the grinning, gap-toothed little girl sitting on my knee, who i’d wrapped in a towel after she and her mother Jerry Hall climbed back onto their boat after a dip in the sea, would one day be gracing our March cover.”
Nauseated yet?
Ok Lucy, so you wrapped her up in a towel, and now.. umm.. u have to pay her back for giving you your 5 minutes of ‘towel wrapping’ fame so she’s on the COVER now!?!
Ok it gets even more nauseating…
“For this month’s cover story, her mother, Jerry- who features alongside her in this current H&M campaign- writes about her daughter’s journey from awkward ingénue to model of the moment.”
Now can I throw up?
Well im sure i get it Lucy, the models bailed out on you so you had to feature HER in a TEN PAGE shoot with her MOTHER describing her JOURNEY!! And by journey I’m HOPEFULLY assuming u mean the journey from her Jagger mansion to the location of the photoshoot!! Cuz when you’re NINETEEN that’s pretty much the journey you’re expected to speak of. Period!
Well laughing out loud, I decide to read her mother description of her 'journey’, which seemed weird that they had to get her mother to speak of her journey, it’s yours for heavens sake, SPEAK UP GEORGIA!!
Mommy said that "Georgia is a natural. She has the modeling gene, but also she has a special quality: a mesmerizing spirit and an openness to her face. She has inherited some things from me- her forehead, cheekbones, jawline and eyes. Her mouth is her dad’s..." (whom she obviously had to mention) "hes' a hard worker.... who kept the Rolling Stones together for years…" Aha! Gotcha mommy, cuz something didn’t quite add up mommy, but now that u mentioned the magic R word, everything suddenly makes sense!
The pathetic feature goes on with mommy describing how Georgia ‘didn’t like it if I turned up at school all made-up. She preferred me to be wearing no make-up and tracksuit bottoms, like other moms’ and that she used to take her to Texas on long holidays riding horses and "nobody knew who we were" and more on how she raided her closet over the years.’
YEAH, what an awe-inspiring journey it has been mom! THANK YOU for that!
For more on that inspiring ‘journey’ and more importantly, that funny, funny photoshoot, seeing is believing
The rest of the magazine, for the record, was very impressive..
Well done Harper’s, but really, not VERY well done.
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